


Works

by Davechicken



Series: Kylux - Ace [2]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Asexual Character, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-28
Updated: 2016-09-28
Packaged: 2018-08-18 08:11:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,646
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8155214
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Davechicken/pseuds/Davechicken
Summary: Kylo has a crush, but Hux is hard to woo.





	

Kylo thinks maybe he’s sort of a little in love, but he’s not really completely sure. He’s never been in love before, so it’s possible he’s being stupid. He just knows he’s weirdly attracted to the man, and he wants to spend time with him, and his opinions and approval are so important he can’t even cope with the slightest negative response from his direction. 

Which, considering it’s _Hux_ , for whom negativity is punctuation… He really had to go and develop a crush on the single most frustrating and unattainable man in the galaxy, didn’t he? 

He’s not sure where it started. One day he just realised he was angry with Hux for not agreeing with him, and that the sneer hurt in his gut. He felt the sadness wash through him, and snapped back. And later, he kicked himself for making it worse. 

And he just… 

Why? 

Why was it important? 

Hux is smart. Driven. Fierce. Unwavering. Devoted. Unshakeable. He’s sure what he believes, in ways that Kylo envies. He’s sharp with his tongue, and Kylo finds himself nearly laughing more than once. 

He’s something else entirely. He’s maybe the only person in the whole Order who doesn’t flinch from Kylo. He’s a collection of incredible talents and ambition, and Kylo just wants him to approve of him and spend time with him and snark with him and all sorts of weird stuff. 

There’s no way to stop thinking about him, and Hux jumps into his mind at the most inconvenient of times. A clip of heels and he thinks it’s him. A failure and he’s wondering what Hux would say. A victory and he’s fantasising about Hux nodding with approval. 

And it’s dumb, because Hux has shown him no signs other than the ones he’s invented for himself. He comes up with his own little code, and hangs his heart on those things. 

Until it gets so painful living this weird one-way relationship with a man who doesn’t know Kylo is pining after him that he spends a whole month psyching himself up. 

Hux is going to shoot him down, but then he’ll know. He’ll stop reading things into turns of phrase. He’ll mock Kylo for a while, and that will destroy any lingering affection he might have slumbering in his heart. 

***

Hux stares at him. “You’re not funny, Ren.”

“I’m not trying to be.”

He laid out the pros and cons and objections and rebuttals to him to show he’s considered it in detail. To speed the decision along. To give him proof that he thinks this could work, and that he’ll put the effort in. 

Mutual benefit. Support. Companionship. A confidant. Someone who has his back. Someone he doesn’t need to worry about chain of command with. Someone who respects him. 

Hux goes progressively more insular under the praise and proposal, and Kylo’s heart sinks. 

“I’m not…”

“I… I apologise. I didn’t mean to offend you,” Kylo blurts out, realising his error of judgement. He’s not wanted, and at least now he can stop over-analysing every little nuance. 

“It’s not that.” Hux looks _afraid_. “I’m just not… I wouldn’t be what you wanted.”

“You don’t know that! Maybe you should let me be the judge of what I do, and don’t want?” He’s trying so hard to not just explode, his panic levels through the roof. 

“Because I know me! And I know I’m not… I’m not made right. Not like you want. That’s all. It’s not that you wouldn’t be a good companion, it’s…”

“Then what? I want to try. You either think I’m not good enough, and I’d rather you told me to my face than–”

“Not everything is about you, okay?” Hux’s eyes are aching. “I’d disappoint you.”

“I’d be more disappointed if we didn’t try.”

“And when you want something I can’t give?”

“Let us _try_ ,” Kylo begs. 

“No.” And Hux leaves. 

***  
The rebuttal and rejection doesn’t make the aching go. Kylo realises he wants Hux to be happy, even if it’s at the expense of his own happiness, and so:

“I will ask to be assigned to another ship.”

“What?”

“Then you don’t need to worry.”

“…are you still being pissy because I won’t date you?”

“Hux, being around you and… Not being able to be with you?” It’s awful. It’s beyond awful. He sees him in the corridors and longs. He lies in bed and wants to just… have him there. It’s not going away, and he thought he could make the affection go, but he can’t. 

So leaving is the only way. 

“Why are you so obsessed? I’ve never once given you the slightest sign I’m interested in you like that.”

“You don’t enjoy… some of our interactions?”

“They were fine, but why isn’t what we are enough?”

“Because I don’t know what we _are_!”

“Colleagues!”

“And why can’t we be more?”

“Because I don’t **want** more!”

“You don’t want someone to talk to? Spend time with? Someone who–”

“I don’t. Want. To. Have. Sex. With. You.”

Kylo blinks. And then takes a breath. “Did I ask you to?”

“You proposed an in-depth relationship with me, scored by a romantic longing, and endless devotion and co-dependency.”

“Did I mention sex?”

“…”

Kylo sees the cogs whirring. 

It’s true he’d consider it. It’s true he’d thought about it. But it’s not… A deal breaker? 

“We don’t have to have sex to spend time together.”

“So how is it different?”

“…it’s… More?”

“I don’t understand.”

“It’s… Knowing we’d be there for one another. It’s… feeling safe. And…”

“I can’t. I mean, I can, but I don’t.”

Sex, right? Kylo doesn’t do much in that respect anyway. 

“Would you ban me from masturbating?”

“What?”

“If we were trying this, would you object to me… pleasing myself in private?”

“Why would I even… No. What you do to your body is your business.”

“Then why don’t we try?”

Hux stares at him like he’s grown an extra head, and then walks off. 

Kylo prays to the Force for strength. Really? Hux is attractive, yes. Kylo has occasionally imagined him when self-abusing, but if he gets everything else… Is it even a problem? 

Not that he can think of. 

***

Hux gives him a wide berth for some time, and Kylo doesn’t know if he should leave the _Finalizer_ or not. 

Eventually, he approaches him. 

“You really don’t… care?”

“I’m not having any sex now. So how would I mind if I get everything else with you?”

“You might change your mind.”

“Hux, even if I do want to have sex with you, if you don’t want it, that’s not a thing I want.”

He’s swaying, unsure. 

“Would you be offended if I got aroused, but didn’t expect anything?”

“Wouldn’t you feel… Disappointed?”

“Not if you didn’t mind me taking a shower to deal with it.”

Hux thinks, then nods. “I like kisses.”

“And cuddles?”

“Not sure.”

“Want to try?”

“You’ll tell me if… You won’t just resent me?”

“If you don’t try to prevent me from dealing with any side-effects without needing your input…”

“You could. Uh.  With me in the room. If… you didn’t… feel upset about my not, too?”

“Only if you’re comfortable,” Kylo says, gently. “And you tell me when you’re needing space.”

Hux rubs his arm. “Okay.”

“And I mean: _tell me_. Not just pretend it’s okay. I’m not going to make any moves beyond hugging and kissing without you initiating, okay?”

“…you’re–”

“I’m **sure**.”

“Then… yes. We… we can try.”

Kylo steps closer. Holds out a hand, squeezes the one in his grasp. “I want us both happy, Hux. Whatever happy is.”

Hux straightens. “Shut up and kiss me before I change my mind.”

***

Kylo finds that Hux is a great kisser. He’s reticent about it at first, but once Kylo demonstrates his ability to not damn well rape him as soon as he’s aroused, or even try to push the envelope, he warms up like nothing he’s ever known. 

And frankly, getting close, snuggly Hux in his lap, the smell of hair, the arms around his chest… They make his sessions in the shower explosive. He comes hard and fast, and when he sees Hux watching him from the door, his knees buckle and he nearly ends up on his ass. 

Hux smirks, and tells him to come back to bed. He curls up on Kylo’s chest, and kisses at his jawline, settling over his spent cock and sending mushy feelings of affection through the Knight. 

It’s great. Really it is. He gets to stroke himself using nothing more than the memories of kisses to his lips, or the breathing in his arms. When he realises Hux is snuggling for his own pleasure as much as his, it makes his heart full. 

Fingers in hair. Gazing into eyes. Whispered confessions of emotion. A longing satisfied, and a balance that works for them. 

He’s about to leave the bed after a heavy petting session, when Hux grabs his wrist. 

“Hux?”

“I’d like to,” Hux says. “To make you happy.”

“You don’t mind?”

“It’s flattering that you like me,” Hux admits. “I don’t want me touching, but I think I want to touch you.”

Kylo grabs his face and kisses him until Hux laughs. “You can touch me wherever you want, whenever you want.”

“I know,” Hux agrees. 

The hand is unsure, but that adds to the feelings. It strokes inexpertly, and they trade more kisses as Hux brings him roughly off. 

It’s great, more than great. 

And Hux isn’t sad he’s not orgasming, too, so Kylo doesn’t feel guilty. He just feels so loved that Hux would do this for him, would trust him so deeply. He beams and moans as his lover brings him to completion. 

So what if it’s not ‘normal’?  Kylo enjoys the touches. Hux enjoys the touches. This works, and it’s awesome.


End file.
